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Ingratitude, Arrogance and Bad Karma

180 degrees away from reasonable

Ingratitude, Arrogance and Bad Karma

By In Blog, News On April 15, 2014


This is not a new story, most of it appeared to happen last summer (2013) but the fact that I found it suggests that it still resonates.  As explained by Janet Cho from the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Kelly Blazek, the (former?) head of a very popular job bank listserv (The Cleveland Job Bank) got herself in a lot of trouble over something as small and stupid as declining an invitation to connect on LinkedIn.  Her reaction to the invitation from Diana Mekota, a recent graduate who was planning to return to Cleveland and was networking for a job, was overwhelmingly arrogant and disproportionate to the perceived offense.  Instead of accepting the invitation and offering up access to her network (free and easy with no downside), Kelly took extra time to write a seething response that opened like this:

“We have never met. We have never worked together. You are quite young and green on how business connections work with senior professionals. Apparently you have heard that I produce a Job Bank, and decided it would be stunningly helpful for your career prospects if I shared my 960+ LinkedIn connections with you – a total stranger who has nothing to offer me.”

The length of Kelly’s email to Diana suggests that she actually put time into writing it.  She probably even re-read it a few times before clicking send.  I guess she didn’t remember the golden rule about email, it lasts forever, or that other golden rule, the one our mothers all taught us in kindergarten:  “If you don’t have anything nice to say…”   She also apparently forgot that internet justice is swift and thorough.  Diana, the recipient of Kelly’s lambast, deservedly made the email public via Twitter, Facebook, etc. (which is how the story got picked up by Janet Cho, and ultimately me as well).  Of course, once her mistake was public knowledge, Kelly apologized but not before the damage was done.  The self described “Job mother” of Cleveland was exposed as mean spirited and arrogant.  She had to delete her Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook accounts and basically go into hiding.

Insults and apologies aside, what is the most basic thing that Kelly forgot when she didn’t accept Diana’s invitation to connect on LinkedIn?  Kelly forgot that somebody, somewhere, maybe a long time ago, helped her get where she is today.  If she really thinks about it, chances are there are a lot of people whose help she should be thankful for receiving.  There’s a good chance that she got an introduction to someone helpful at some point, or maybe, somebody passed her name along to another contact, or returned a call or message when she was looking for work.  The paths that lead to getting a good job are not always straight and the events that lead to offers include big things like:  forwarding a resume or giving a good personal recommendation, and little things, like:  taking a call, replying to an email or accepting an invitation.  Often people may not even know which little thing they did worked or how they may have gotten where they are.  One thing is certain though – it didn’t happen in a vacuum.

There’s a section in the book about gratitude and generosity.  Maybe, like many of us, Kelly can’t repay all the big and little favors that helped her get to where she is today but she can be generous and help others.  And, if she’s really only truly interested in improving her own situation, she should be mindful that helping others is a good way to do that too.

Generosity is a key personality trait of successful people.  Job seekers, job owners and gate keepers like myself can and should be as generous as possible with information that can benefit others.  Not only is it good karma, but generosity pays great dividends.

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